The Biggest Apple

not so funny pizza

funny pizza 

This post is brought to you with tiredness in our bones, pizza in our tums and the dregs of a hangover seeping from our pores.
What should you take from that sentence? Pizza. Always take pizza.
Please excuse the momentary lapse in our blogging over the past week. ALE CAME TO NEW YORK so we've been caught up in each others company and the spontaneity of this city. Ah bless.  Let us give you a brief rundown on what's been happnan, what we've discovered,who we've met, and obviously what we've been eating!

What we've discovered:

1) People can be rude:
We went to a coffee shop in bushwick and asked, what turned out to be an absolute feckin' bitch, if we could use the seat she had her tacky bag on and she point blank refused to hand it over saying that her bag was actually really cosy on it. Shocked, appalled and without somewhere to put our bum bums so we were.
2) Sometimes it is ok to laugh at people:
Like people who don't give you chairs in busy coffee shops. You're not cool. You're rude. We've got it out of our system now and we're back to our friendly, loving, non-grudge-holding-stand-up-citizen selves. 

3) When going to a museum don't show up 15 minutes before it's closing time. You cannot whizz around the MET in 15 minutes. Tried and tested by yours truly.
4) Ice is slippy. Ale's arse has the bruises to prove it.
5) Canadian Bacon is hilarious. Especially at 4am in the morning.
6) Many/most of you probably know what the term 'All day' means when used in a restaurant.  We didn't.  So when the barista in a coffee shop said 4 coffees all day we naturally thought it meant we had free refills all day. Such silly billys.
If you don't know what it means you should Google it. We're still unsure how to explain it lucidly even though it is a very simple concept and one that we should have grasped after the third time it was explained to us.
7) Carrie Bradshaw's, Will and Grace's and Monica Geller's apartments are all very underwhelming in the dark.
8) How much does a pood weigh? Asked at Trivia night. No surprise that we didn't know the answer and that we didn't win.

9) Always double check the name of your subway stop before getting on to avoid finding yourself in the middle of Harlem instead of the Guggenheim Museum.

10) The Lorimer stop on the subway sounds suspiciously similar to Laura Moore (Philippa's sister)...which we obviously brought up everytime we passed it.

11) It's NOT okay to scream loudly at your friend at the bar for refusing a 6th shot of vodka, as one New Yorker will remind you.

12) Being served pancakes with whipped cream AND a side of bacon in a 50's looking diner by a real sassy waitress after a night out is everything Ale imagined it would be and more.

13) Always tip. Even if there's no chicken in your Chicken Taco.

14) Eggs on pizza. Always and forever.

Who we've met (more like who we haven't met):
1) HONY. Anyday now, he's BOUND to track us down, right?

2) Karen Walker (I've only just learned she's not a real human being)

What we've been eating:
1) An extravagant lobster roll at The Chelsea Market.
2) A pastrami, cheddar and apricot jam sandwich at The Chelsea Market.

3) Falafel Sandwiches with extra hummus- so cheap and oh so cheerful!
4) Guanciale and Egg Pizza at Roberta's.
5) Tallegio and Mashed Potato Pizza at Roberta's.
6) Lil Stinker Pizza with added capers and egg at Roberta's
7) Burritos,  burritos, and more burritos.
7) Egg's Neptune with hash browns at Kellogg's diner.
8) Egg's Benedict with sweet potato fries at Kellogg's diner.
9) Portobello Mushroom burger with goat cheese and sweet potato fries at...Kellogg's diner.
10) Stacks and more stacks of the most delicious pancakes smothered in Maple Syrup at...(you can probably guess it at this point) Kellogg's diner.
YES, we went to Kellogg's diner 4 times in 36 hours. And YES,  we would do it all again.

What we've been drinking:

1) Delicious coffee at Little Skips

2) Amazing coffee at Blue Bottle

3) Buckets of coffee at Kellogg's diner

4) Beer, beer, beer at various locations (Ale's favourite was one that tasted like palm hearts after a shot of whiskey - if you've never had palm hearts or don't even know what they are: please go find out, life will be better)

always ask your server for a blurry picture

friendship is always more beautiful in New York

that's apparently what you do here

Harlem, New York

burger on face > burger in mouth

"this is not what I ordered"

immediatly after this picture Ale fell on the ice

the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. building

Grace Adler Design's

our best shot

not in the picture: side of bacon and toast

After a week of walking this WONDERFUL city we are EXHAUSTED and satiated and full of plans for the future. Central Park, The Guggenheim,  The Met, MoMa, Grand Central Station, New York City Public Library,The Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square,  Washington Square Park, The High Line and especially Kellogg's Diner- YOU'VE ALL BEEN FABULOUS. 

The next chapter in our journey: OLSO AND SOUTHEAST ASIA.
Belt on, table up, windows open aaaaaand we have lift off!
Pip, Ale and Emma 

(Collectively known as Palema)