The Biggest Apple

not so funny pizza

funny pizza 

This post is brought to you with tiredness in our bones, pizza in our tums and the dregs of a hangover seeping from our pores.
What should you take from that sentence? Pizza. Always take pizza.
Please excuse the momentary lapse in our blogging over the past week. ALE CAME TO NEW YORK so we've been caught up in each others company and the spontaneity of this city. Ah bless.  Let us give you a brief rundown on what's been happnan, what we've discovered,who we've met, and obviously what we've been eating!

What we've discovered:

1) People can be rude:
We went to a coffee shop in bushwick and asked, what turned out to be an absolute feckin' bitch, if we could use the seat she had her tacky bag on and she point blank refused to hand it over saying that her bag was actually really cosy on it. Shocked, appalled and without somewhere to put our bum bums so we were.
2) Sometimes it is ok to laugh at people:
Like people who don't give you chairs in busy coffee shops. You're not cool. You're rude. We've got it out of our system now and we're back to our friendly, loving, non-grudge-holding-stand-up-citizen selves. 

3) When going to a museum don't show up 15 minutes before it's closing time. You cannot whizz around the MET in 15 minutes. Tried and tested by yours truly.
4) Ice is slippy. Ale's arse has the bruises to prove it.
5) Canadian Bacon is hilarious. Especially at 4am in the morning.
6) Many/most of you probably know what the term 'All day' means when used in a restaurant.  We didn't.  So when the barista in a coffee shop said 4 coffees all day we naturally thought it meant we had free refills all day. Such silly billys.
If you don't know what it means you should Google it. We're still unsure how to explain it lucidly even though it is a very simple concept and one that we should have grasped after the third time it was explained to us.
7) Carrie Bradshaw's, Will and Grace's and Monica Geller's apartments are all very underwhelming in the dark.
8) How much does a pood weigh? Asked at Trivia night. No surprise that we didn't know the answer and that we didn't win.

9) Always double check the name of your subway stop before getting on to avoid finding yourself in the middle of Harlem instead of the Guggenheim Museum.

10) The Lorimer stop on the subway sounds suspiciously similar to Laura Moore (Philippa's sister)...which we obviously brought up everytime we passed it.

11) It's NOT okay to scream loudly at your friend at the bar for refusing a 6th shot of vodka, as one New Yorker will remind you.

12) Being served pancakes with whipped cream AND a side of bacon in a 50's looking diner by a real sassy waitress after a night out is everything Ale imagined it would be and more.

13) Always tip. Even if there's no chicken in your Chicken Taco.

14) Eggs on pizza. Always and forever.

Who we've met (more like who we haven't met):
1) HONY. Anyday now, he's BOUND to track us down, right?

2) Karen Walker (I've only just learned she's not a real human being)

What we've been eating:
1) An extravagant lobster roll at The Chelsea Market.
2) A pastrami, cheddar and apricot jam sandwich at The Chelsea Market.

3) Falafel Sandwiches with extra hummus- so cheap and oh so cheerful!
4) Guanciale and Egg Pizza at Roberta's.
5) Tallegio and Mashed Potato Pizza at Roberta's.
6) Lil Stinker Pizza with added capers and egg at Roberta's
7) Burritos,  burritos, and more burritos.
7) Egg's Neptune with hash browns at Kellogg's diner.
8) Egg's Benedict with sweet potato fries at Kellogg's diner.
9) Portobello Mushroom burger with goat cheese and sweet potato fries at...Kellogg's diner.
10) Stacks and more stacks of the most delicious pancakes smothered in Maple Syrup at...(you can probably guess it at this point) Kellogg's diner.
YES, we went to Kellogg's diner 4 times in 36 hours. And YES,  we would do it all again.

What we've been drinking:

1) Delicious coffee at Little Skips

2) Amazing coffee at Blue Bottle

3) Buckets of coffee at Kellogg's diner

4) Beer, beer, beer at various locations (Ale's favourite was one that tasted like palm hearts after a shot of whiskey - if you've never had palm hearts or don't even know what they are: please go find out, life will be better)

always ask your server for a blurry picture

friendship is always more beautiful in New York

that's apparently what you do here

Harlem, New York

burger on face > burger in mouth

"this is not what I ordered"

immediatly after this picture Ale fell on the ice

the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. building

Grace Adler Design's

our best shot

not in the picture: side of bacon and toast

After a week of walking this WONDERFUL city we are EXHAUSTED and satiated and full of plans for the future. Central Park, The Guggenheim,  The Met, MoMa, Grand Central Station, New York City Public Library,The Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square,  Washington Square Park, The High Line and especially Kellogg's Diner- YOU'VE ALL BEEN FABULOUS. 

The next chapter in our journey: OLSO AND SOUTHEAST ASIA.
Belt on, table up, windows open aaaaaand we have lift off!
Pip, Ale and Emma 

(Collectively known as Palema)

A French Christmas

I am back on the beautiful shores of Dublin for this post. This was not the plan. I repeat; NOT the plan. The following paragraph is a low down of how Emma had hoped things would pan out for this week.

After a moonlit walk on the rocky shores of Nice with my oh so chic (...and then there's me) friends, followed by tea and hella lota meringue in a cute little bistro a few weeks ago, something wonderful happened. My friend Marie (pronounced that seductive French way) said she would share her grandmothers treasured Christmas recipe of Coquilles Saint-Jacques with me, and, annnnd, help me to cook it also. This was the perfect night for me; good friends, good food and exciting prospects of real French cooking in the looming future. We set the date, 17/12/2014, the day before my departure. Of course this was cutting it close should anything have gone wrong, which, of course, it did. But I didn't give it a second thought! What could go wrong!? - wondered naïve Emma of Christmas past.

Well, this is what went wrong:


Emma + Snowboard = WRONG



 

Yes, I went snowboarding! It was amazing....well, it became amazing after numerous tantrums, a few regretful tears and many, many (cannot stress this enough), many falls. Why did this affect my cooking plans? You see the way I'm not standing in the picture above? Yeah, that is a very accurate portrayal of how my day went. I was parallel to the ground for nearly the entire thing. When I did stand though, it was the best feeling ever!! Even if only for 3-7 seconds at a time, give or take. As this was my first slope venture, I didn't bring any extra clothes to change in to. So I spent the 2 and a half hour bus journey back in freezing and soaking wet jeans and jacket. The wetness seeped into my bones slowly, I actually felt this on the bus journey, it was most displeasing, and left me voiceless, achy and unable to move for the better part of 3 days. Cooking plans ruined. Bed and hot tea for Emma instead.

I did manage to get the recipe though, and got to cook the whole thing with my little sister in a fully stocked and decorated kitchen in Dublin. Things aint so bad like.

So what do French people cook for Christmas dins? Well this is what one northern French granny makes for starters: Coquilles Saint-Jacques avec Champignons (and wine and whiskey and cheese and butter and butter and butter). Eh, yum.

Coquilles Saint-Jacques or scallops as we call them are a very typical French Christmas staple. I was nervous about cooking the scallops as I know how easy it is to make them rubbery, but after watching many youtube tutorials on the subject and downloading an online timer for the occasion, everything I am pleased to say, turned out deliiiightfully.

So here's the lowdown on the awl coquille wockies.

Les Ingraydayants

 

• 30g flour
• a hayp of salt
• pinch of curry powder
• teeny pinch of cayenne
• 40g butter
• 2 tbs of melted butter
• 20g truffle butter
• 200g of crimini/shiitake mushrooms (sliced)
• 25g of dried wild mushrooms (soak these in warm water NOW for 25 mins)
• 1 chopped onion
• 160ml of dry white wine (pino grigio is gouda - food pun)
• 2 tbs of good whiskey
• 35g of grated comté cheese
• quarter of lemon ready to squeeze
• ALMOST FORGOT - SCALLOPS! v important here, about 1 - 1 1/2 pounds

C'est tout!

What to do

1) Mix all zee dry ingredients together (flour, salt, curry and cayenne) in a bowl
2) Throw in the scallops and coat them in the dry stuff
3) Heat your pan (not too hot, but hot enough...) add the butter and truffle butter. When melted, add the scallops. IMPORTANT -  1 minute 30 seconds for each side of scallop then off the heat, rubberiness is not our friend

you can't sit with us rubber!

4) In the same pan add the onion and fresh mushrooms (add more butter if you dare, and you do.)
5) Drain the dried mushrooms and keep the yummy water, chop shrooms and add to pan (add little bit of the water too, just cos)
6) After about 5/6 minutes of frying, add the white wine and reduce the sauce till it looks like this:

errbody wanna look like me

7) Take off the heat, add the good stuff (i.e whiskey) and the stars of the show (i.e scallops)
8) Scoop the mixture into 6 ramekins (if you have the scallop shells, scoop them into these instead, if you're into pretty thangs)
9) Mix together the bread crumbs, melted goodness and cheese and sprinkle on top of pots, they should look a lil something like this


perfection! (self proclaimed..)
 

10) Put your oven on the highest broiler setting and stick them in until they're all bubbly and the cheese gets nice and brown (brown cheese.... surprisingly delicious)


in the oven, like a boss

11) Remove from oven. DISCLAIMER, wear protective hand-wear such as gloves cos they're hot little feckers, drizzle with lemon and bob's your uncle!

eaten, like a boss

Even though I didn't get to make these in the setting of a real French kitchen with a real French madam, I did not despair. All clouds have a silver lining, as the saying goes and I got to share this beautiful occasion with my little sister (who took all the photos). We sang Christmas songs and laughed a bunch. The spirit of Christmas was alive in our kitchen and our hearts today.

Yes, I did cringe writing the above paragraph. I hope you did too. MERRY XMAS xoxoxo